Crossroads

i just graduated from university earlier this year. university life was a wonderful experience and i wouldn't change it for the world. now the challenge begins. i kept putting off thoughts of life but i realize now that i am at the stage where i need to take control of my own life. all my life, i have been taken care of. i have never had to worry about what food, shelter, all the basic necessities of life and i thank my loving parents for that. but now, it makes me wonder if being brought up this way has adversely affected me. i cannot seem to pick myself up and make something of my life. i cannot seem to decide what i want to do with my life because i think someone will come up and make those decisions for me. on the other hand, i know that is ludicrous thinking and i have to live my own life but it is difficult. may be i am not the only person facing this problem but it scares me that i may not be able take control of life. i find myself apathetic regarding absolutely everything! it's like i am standing at the edge of a precipice, looking longingly back at the beautiful green field behind me, but knowing i have to take that step, fall into the abyss and eventually land on my feet in that vague, murky piece of land i can see in the distance. what is ahead of me? will i succeed? am i sure i want to do this? those are a few of the questions running through my head every single minute of every day. it makes me want to curl up into a ball and never peek out at the world. but alas! that is impossible! so i'll keep these words in mind, :if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again".

forever the eternal optimist...